This is a list of articles I've been featured in discussing topics related to sexuality and dating during this time, for your reference and information. Please follow the most updated recommendations from the CDC, your local government, and healthcare provider.
Last updated: April 15, 2020 10:58 am PST
Due to Coronavirus, Sex Toy Sales Are Up, Stigma Is Down
Los Angeles Times, April 14
How to Find the Pandemic Sex Toy That's Right For You
Los Angeles Times, April 14
Single and Social Distancing? It's Normal to Feel Lonely
PopSugar, April 8
20 Ways to Have Phone Sex That Without Feeling Awkward AF
Cosmopolitan, April 7
5 Sex Positions to Try If You're in a Long-Distance Relationship During Coronavirus
Hello Giggles, April 2
Is It Just Me Or Is My Sex Drive Higher Than Usual?
Healthline, March 31
10 Reasons to Try Mutual Masturbation With Your Partner Tonight
Bustle, March 30
A Guide to Sex and Love in the Time of COVID-19
Healthline, March 21
How to Stop COVID-19 From Ruining Your Sex Life
Kinkly, March 20
12 Sex Toys Perfect for Physical Distancing or Self-Isolation
Healthline, March 20
Social distancing doesn’t have to be a buzzkill in the sex and romance department. With a little creativity and flexibility, you can spend quality time together and stay sexually connected, while also staying 6+ feet apart. Or whatever the recommended distance may be at the time you’re reading this.
This Saturday is February 29, and the last time that sentence was written was 1992.
Leap Day comes once every 4 years, and Leap Day on a Saturday graces us just once every 28 years. So make the most of this freebie day by filling it with love, sex, and romance.
You've heard of people buying the stranger in line behind them a cup of coffee or slice of pizza?
Let's do that for vibrators!
The Bullet is a perfect (and as you can see above, POWERFUL) vibrator for beginners. I'm offering vibrator newbies their first ever vibrator for FREE, and I invite vibrator veterans to help me give the gift of sexual liberation and exploration by sponsoring someone’s else’s first vibe for just $11.
For every vibe someone buys for someone else, I’ll donate one too! What a beautiful community to be a part of, and much more fun than a cup of coffee!
Head here to sponsor a vibe and here to request your first one free.
British Tourist: What are you doing?
Me: Taking pictures.
BT: With those things?!
BT: What are they?
Me: You don’t take pictures of your vibrators at the beach?
HA! She won't soon forget her vacation to San Diego!
Anyway, I took this photo to showcase the Cal Exotics California Dreaming vibes:
💛 Venice, which ENCAPSULATES your clit.
💗Malibu (not pictured), which SUCKS on your clit.
💙 Santa Monica, which THUMPS on your g-spot.
❤️ San Francisco, which COME HITHERS on your g-spot
🧡And OC, new to my website, which THRUSTS inside your whole vagina.
Check em out!
I usually have this well managed with meds but for the last few days I've been experiencing the hell of PMDD, which is PMS' evil stepsister.
5 facts about Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder:
😡 It is a severe and debilitating disorder that, like PMS, has mood related symptoms that recur monthly during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle then cease when the period begins.
😡 It affects 2–5% of menstruating people.
😡 Symptoms can include severe irritability and overreactions (more than once I've had to buy a new phone while suffering from a PMDD mood swing because an app froze or some other mild inconvenience and I threw the phone on the ground in frustration), depression, feelings of hopelessness, conflict with other people (99% of the arguments I've had with Ryan have happened with PMDD), and intense white-hot uncontrollable rage.
😡 It was added to the DSM 5 and classified as a "depressive disorder not otherwise specified". Some were concerned that diagnostic inclusion would give ammunition to stereotypes that "women go crazy in their periods" or would pathologize the normal happenings of the menstrual cycle. Others note that PMDD is disordered PMS, and not normal.
😡 Taking birth control pills and skipping the placebo week can be a helpful treatment (because no period = no period disorders). But even though there is no medical benefit for anyone to take the placebo pills, and even if a doctor prescribes skipping the placebo pills in treatment of this disorder, many insurance companies still won't cover the extra week of active pills needed to round out the month because, as we learned in a bombshell news story that came out last week, 60 years ago the creators of the birth control pill hoped their new controversial contraceptive would be more palatable to the pope if women still bled every month.
Spoiler alert: the Catholic Church is still opposed to birth control and PMDD sufferers and others with cycle related medical issues treated with uninterrupted birth control have been needlessly in agony for the last 6 decades. Talk about white-hot rage.
Not an ad for any of the brands in the photo, just showing you how I'm getting by.
This is the part that hurts the most. All the evidence, all of the corroboration, all the expert testimony, all the likeable snow white victims in the world won’t make them do the right thing.
There could be video of the whole assault. Hell, he could confess! And it still wouldn’t be enough. Because it’s never been about whether they #believesurvivors or not. THEY JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT SURVIVORS’ PAIN.
⚫ Because they are selfish and sexual assault survivors are inconvenient to their goals and their worldview.
⚫ Because they don’t value women enough to do the work of extending human compassion.
This is the sad reality that took me years as a young, optimistic sexologist to realize. Years and years of
⚫ "maybe they don’t understand"
⚫ “maybe they just need it explained this way”
⚫ "maybe they don’t know how common it is or how painful it is, so if we tell our stories and humanize it for them they will get it…“
…before finally it occurred to me that they understand perfectly fucking well. And they don’t care.
Btw: This "they” I reference isn’t just the Senate today. It’s the police. It’s college administrations. It’s the NFL. It’s the Catholic Church. It’s the news media. It’s every “nice guy” who seems like a perfectly normal rational functioning adult but is on Facebook saying “well I don’t know… she didn’t report it at the time…”
Because pretending be ignorant or judicious or “see both sides” makes you sound like less of a sociopath than that you’re simply cruel.
This is why I do the work that I do.
This is why WE NEED COMPASSION BASED SEXUALITY EDUCATION NOW.
Last week I decided to take a 7 day Self-Care Staycation and was away from work, email, and social media. Friends, you NEED to do this, even if it's only for one day.
This week I READ- for pleasure! 📖🏖️ I took a sexy bath with Ryan and tried my first EVER bath bomb and face mask. 🛀🏼 I went kayaking in some sea caves. 🛶🌊 I worked on a craft project I've wanted to do but have been putting off for literally two years. 🎨
I also did some unsexy self-care like making a long overdue eye doctor appointment and got new glasses and sunglasses and now I can SEE! 😎🙌🏼 I replaced my 5 1/2 year old laptop 💻 and bought new clothes. 👗 I deep cleaned my house and got some new home decor items to bring more color into my home. 🌈🌼 I'm currently in love with my kitchen and bedroom. Self-Care Staycation is EVERYTHING and will absolutely be an annual event. I can't recommend it enough.
Coincidentally, my 10 Day Sexual Self-Care Challenge started today. If you missed the course this time around, grab your spot now for the next one. Nurturing yourself, especially your sexuality, which is the first thing to get chopped when we feel we have a scarcity of time, energy, or compassion, is SO IMPORTANT!
The first hurdle is managing that voice that says "this is so indulgent and I don't deserve this." You DO deserve this nurturing, and that voice is something we address repeatedly in the online challenge. Reserve your seat here because it's limited to 20 people.
Romance is the language of love- it's how you express connection, caring, admiration, attraction, and lust to your partner. There are endless ways to be romantic, but some of the more popular gestures include:
💕 Holding hands
💕 Greeting them with a hug and a cheerful "I'm glad you're home!'
💕 Cooking them dinner
💕 Leaving them a short and sweet love note
💕 Paying them a random compliment
💕 Asking them to go for a leisurely walk together
💕 Giving them a playful squeeze on the butt
💕 Fixing them an ice cream sundae or other treat
💕 Surprising them with a small gift, like a flower weed you picked, a candle, bottle of wine, or piece of chocolate
💕 Drawing them a warm bath
💕 Seizing the opportunity for an impromptu makeout sesh, like I did with my husband Ryan earlier this Romance Month on the beach. The pic turn out pretty sex, eh? ;)
Make this last day of August count!